Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Politeness
Politeness relates to the social distance and closeness of an interaction based on social values and culture. There is a difference between acting polite to your family, friends and strangers we meet outside our circle. The social distance of these relationships are determined by the dominance of external factors and internal factors, whether its how friendly you are or not sometimes your way of politeness may or may not be enough to satisfy your speaker. The degree of friendliness is negotiated during an interaction, but because of external factors and internal factors we can be interpreted differently. According to Yule (1996), "It is possible to treat politeness as a fixed concept, as in the ideas of 'polite social behavior', or etiquette, within a culture" (p. 59). From the term face, which technically means self image, while Yule(1996) says that the term politeness means to show awareness of another person's face, but in actuality I think that it is the basis of your friendliness, culture, and social factors that contribute to how polite you are to anyone. In short, An eye for an eye, what comes around goes around, or however you want to be treated you should treat others.
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We definitely speak differently base on the identity of the person we are talking to. When we talk to our friends or siblings, we can be casual or a little bit rude because we are closed. However, when the target is someone who process a high status such as a professor or our grandparents, we switch our tones. We tend to speak softly and being humble.
ReplyDeleteAlso, when you need help, you always get help when you ask politely rather than being rude.
When you ask someone about how to go to your destination:
Me: Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Random person: Sure
Me: Do you know how to go to Lehman College?
Random person: You can take the 4 train and get off at Lehman College.
At the beginning, I used a pre-request to ensure I am allowed to ask question and I think it is a polite way to ask for help.
When you deal with someone who has a high status than yourself, you need to be tactful because of their face. They expect to be respected.
Professor: We will have a quiz on Monday
Student: Professor, may I suggest one thing?
Professor: What's that?
Student: What do think if we take the quiz on Wednesday?
Instead of saying "Let's do it on Wednesday", using a question to express your opinion is more polite.
Humans are very social creatures and this is due to language. Thanks to language they are able to communicate and teach each other customs. Some of these customs show politeness which can vary from culture to culture depending on society's cultural values.
ReplyDeleteIn order to illustrate politeness, I'll use the second person pronoun in Spanish. Spanish has different ways to refer to "you", which is "tú", "usted", and "vos". "Vos" is mainly used in Argentina, and in certain places of certain countries, such as Colombia, but not everywhere.
Depending on the culture, the way in which people use "tú" and "usted" mostly varies depending on the situation, or who speaker is addressing. "Tú" is often perceived as a rude way of addressing someone so it is often used informally to address to people with whom there is familiarity.
Personally, the way I use "tú" vs "usted" mostly depends on whether I am addressing someone I am familiar with, or addressing someone older than me, or someone I am interacting with due to their profession or because they are working.
Example, If I were to say "do you have a pencil" depending on who I am addressing, I might use either the pronoun form "tú" or "usted".
If I were to ask my mother or a friend if they have a pencil, I would say "¿Tú tienes un lápiz"?
If I were to ask a professor, or someone that works at a bookstore, I would say "¿Usted tiene un lápiz?".
However, as I stated above, the way which people view politeness, varies from culture to culture, and even upbringing. For example, my mother's cousin, she once told me that if she were to refer to her parents as she was growing up with "tú" she would be punished.
There are certain cultures where they don't ever use the pronoun "tú" regardless of how much familiarity there may be.
I personally find it weird when someone addresses me with "usted" instead of "tu" regardless of situation. And for some reason it irks me when someone uses "tú" in certain situations. For instance, if a student were to refer to a teacher as "tú" it would irk me that they would say that.
I don't find it rude however regardless of the situation, because "tú" is a valid word, but for some reason, certain situations in which people use "tú" irks me when they do.
Politeness can have different effects depending on their usage. For instance, an arrogant tone will have a different effect than a humble tone would. For an example here is this hypothetical situation displaying the effects oth tone could cause:
ReplyDeleteAnnie: I'm thirsty. Go get me some juice.
Bob: Go get it yourself.
Annie: I'm thirsty. Could you gett me some water, please?
Bob: Sure, would you like some lemon in it?